Question

Second poem I post on here! Hope I did better than last time!

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Wishes

I wish to be with you 24/7, but your always so busy
I want to see you, but it seems like you don't have time
We call and text, but I don't think that's enough
I wish we gone out on dates, but everytime you asked for permission, you get turned down
I wish to be with you at night, but I can only dream of you with me
I wish we would stay together forever and get married
I wish you wouldn't move after high school
I wish we could live together in the future, we always talked about it
I wish you wanted kids because I hope to start a family with you
I wish we could sneak out and meet up with each other
I wish we could visit each other without our parents worrying about anything
I wish you could comfort me physically when I'm feeling down
I wish you cared more and protected me from all the bad things
I wish you gave me more attention
I wish we could spend time with each other more, but I guess we don't have time

Answer 1

I like it it's good but it starts as something sounding borderline toxic then got happy-ish then when back to borderline sad and got kinda confusing. 7/10 good job.

Answer 2

its a good poem, maybe make it a lil more sense to it. 7/10

Answer 3

Very good thought, could have been a little bit better written/worded though.

Answer 4

mmm ngl this is gud, dis is how i feel at times too, buh maybe elaborate on dis sum more. I see da vision wit da repetition buh u shud switch up "I wish" with alternatives likee "if only", "I long for", or "I crave/desire", etc.