-The Unspoken Things-
Behind my eyes, a storm rages on
A tale of horror, A light long gone
But can I share this weight I bare?
Will anyone listen? Would they even care?

Invisible scars that mark my skin
A battle fought, yet I can't begin
To voice the pain, to break the seal
To speak the truth of what I feel.

The fear of judgment, fear of blame
To speak the cruelty, utter n shame
So here I stand, caught in despair
in the echo of silence, alone with the things I fear to share.

" feedback on how to better this poem please...

Question

-The Unspoken Things-
Behind my eyes, a storm rages on
A tale of horror, A light long gone
But can I share this weight I bare?
Will anyone listen? Would they even care?

Invisible scars that mark my skin
A battle fought, yet I can't begin
To voice the pain, to break the seal
To speak the truth of what I feel.

The fear of judgment, fear of blame
To speak the cruelty, utter n shame
So here I stand, caught in despair
in the echo of silence, alone with the things I fear to share.

" feedback on how to better this poem please...

NaiNoah · Answer

Little corny but its pretty good

ThanosQC · Answer

Ok so basically just a few gramattical suggestions- instead of bare, use bear and replace "n" with and. Also, increased repitition to further this poem's might be nice, maybe use "invisible scars that mark my skin" or "the fear of judgement, fear of blame" again.

theydontknowmelly · Answer

this is a good poem but maybe fix the grammar 8/10

Chronic · Answer

@thanosqc wrote:

Ok so basically just a few gramattical suggestions- instead of bare, use bear and replace "n" with and. Also, increased repitition to further this poem's might be nice, maybe use "invisible scars that mark my skin" or "the fear of judgement, fear of blame" again.

OOoooooo I see I seee, thank you thank you

Chronic · Answer

@theydontknowmelly wrote:

this is a good poem but maybe fix the grammar 8/10

my fault kinda slow rn but for sure I'll def be back with better Grammer.

Sleepyman · Answer

its seems good tbh js grammar fr

Chronic · Answer

@sleepyman wrote:

its seems good tbh js grammar fr

Fixing Grammer as you read this. Thanks

Sleepyman · Answer

np