Question

Today, I wrote a poem. It’s regarding my struggles and how I try to escape both physically and emotionally harmful situations caused by both people and other things, but I’m trapped.

Daily, I wake, though nothing wakes with me
Loud, silent whispers, present in a dark place
Dense, very similar to the debris that is present in the atmosphere.
The ground below my feet sinks with each move,
I continue to search, but I have no idea where to start.
Each deep breath I take is much like a boulder I cannot remove,
Everything seems too tense to ever allow me to relax.
I cannot see the light that tries to shine,
The sun is too distant to have its warmth,
And I am at sea in this repetitive cycle of distress.
The faces of people I once viewed are unrecognisable,
I hear voices echoing so loudly, fading, like in a never-ending trail.
I try to smile, but I can’t, nothing to feel,
A cloth over my head to suppress the piercing cry, I’m not permitted to break free.
I crave something, unable to exactly figure it out
Possibly to feel anything, a motive to manage.
I constantly hear threatening thoughts in my brain,
A million or more weapons, waiting to attack me
Each is seeking techniques to ruin me,
But I cannot shout, unable to fully accept the torture
I am dead, trapped in a doorless space.
I want no fear, but it takes advantage of me entirely,
I need to find a way out; unfortunately, there is no exit.
I am just an unworthy contour, within a population that walks right past me,
An unseen soul of who I become,
Locked up to hearing the comments on what I was made to be.
The tears are absent
They don’t show up.
I am a void without significance, compared to a barrel in water of no use,
Longing to be visible and
Scared of appearing in the light
And showing just how wounded I became.
I pray this is not my destiny
To lose myself, to surrender.
Taking place in the gloomy areas,
I can hear the speakers,
A vulnerable story
One day I hope,
I will see the light once more.