OpenStudy (anonymous):
http://www.scribd.com/doc/60137554/Fashion Please read my essay on this link and give me some useful feedback. Also discuss whether I will be able to win any prize in the school essay contest of our group(grades 9-10).
OpenStudy (anonymous):
It's not very good. It kinda wanders everywhere and doesn't seem adhere to a specific point. Not the sort of essay that teachers like. If you want to win the essay contest, you have to focus on one aspect of fashion and write an interesting essay around that point. Also, you shouldn't start paragraphs with quotes without any lead in. They hate that.
OpenStudy (anonymous):
You really appear to have no sort of thesis. I have no idea what you're trying to argue with this paper. It's almost like fact vomit. Give the reader something interesting to hold onto that makes them think "Oh, I've never thought of that before," or even "Oh, I don't agree with that." Either one is far better than the "Okay.....," that I'm feeling with this essay.
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