Question

can anyone review this sentence for me please?
"Whereas economy, parents, peers and self-induction seem to be factors causing pressure among college students, they are only "victims" of this practical world, which pays more attention to appearance and secured future than the abilies and desires within a person."

Answer 1

It's just fine. A little long, but it is a complete sentence, and it makes sense.

Answer 2

just a little bit of punctuation, and a spelling mistake :p
here's what i'd make it:

Whereas economy, parents, peers, and self-induction seem to be factors causing pressure among college students; they are only 'victims' of this practical world, which pays more attention to appearance, and secured future than the abilities and desires within a person.

Answer 3

I don't know about the semi-colon. I think it should stay a comma.

Answer 4

that's what i think since it's not really part of the previous list. plus it's elaboration on the whole list or explaining it, not just one of the thing on the list.

Answer 5

To merit a semicolon, the word "whereas" should be omitted. Otherwise, a comma is best.

Answer 6

oh, i didn't know that. it clears a few things in my head too.
thanks :)