Rewrite the following sentence to eliminate wordiness.

My brother was really upset with me this morning on account of the fact that I didn't remember it was his birthday which was upsetting to him because I had promised to take him golfing on his birthday but because I forgot his birthday we didn't have a tee time.

Shouldn't it be: My brother was upset with me this morning because I didn't remember that it was his birthday because I promised to take him golfing but because I forgot, we didn't have a tee time.

Question

Rewrite the following sentence to eliminate wordiness.

My brother was really upset with me this morning on account of the fact that I didn't remember it was his birthday which was upsetting to him because I had promised to take him golfing on his birthday but because I forgot his birthday we didn't have a tee time.

Shouldn't it be: My brother was upset with me this morning because I didn't remember that it was his birthday because I promised to take him golfing but because I forgot, we didn't have a tee time.

anonymous · Answer

How about this...?
My brother was upset with me because I didn't remember that I promised to take him golfing for his birthday, and we missed tee time.

anonymous · Answer

^ the sentence above is correct go with that!

anonymous · Answer

bye peeps

anonymous · Answer

by*