Question

can someone help proof read my writing english?

Answer 1

I started to edit this, but I noticed that you don't quite have the essay concept down-pat. Here is an outline for you to follow.

Paragraph 1 ~ Introduction. This is where your thesis should be, and where you mention THREE main points that you want to cover in the essay. In this case, three life changes that you have made. You should be specific. Use words like "first," "next," "then," and "lastly" to give a time line of the body of your paper. For example: "First I will discuss such and such. Then, I will cover blah blah. Lastly, I will talk about this and that."

Paragraph 2 ~ Discuss the first life change. Give at least 3 supporting sentences.

Paragraph 3 ~ Discuss the second life change. Give at least 3 supporting sentences.

Paragraph 4 ~ Discuss the third life change. Give at least 3 supporting sentences.

***Make sure you don't go back and forth between points. Discuss one life change, in it's entirety, then move on to the next. Flip-flopping will only confuse your readers.***

Paragraph 5 ~ Conclusion. Summarize what you have written by mentioning your three main points again, as well as your thesis.

Good luck!