Question

Can someone give me some good or bad specific feedback on this paper like about what i wrote about and the way i wrote it like sentence structure or whatever else you liked or didn't like.... don't talk about grammer or spelling issues i already know about those. THANKS :D!

Ill post it at the bottom

Answer 1

My question is how the recent findings of low working conditions in the manufacturing factories for Apple is very poor and almost close to sweatshop conditions. Is this a necessary evil, or is it an issue that can and has to be stopped? The article that sparked interest was the New York Time's very in-depth and through article about these working conditions. There are a few contradicting points to this matter, however, such as those saying that Apple could definitely do the work for manufacturing in the USA, and stop outsourcing. In addition, using this method increases the amount of workers whom are usually dejected in foreign markers and creating and hiring these people are a pro. Then again, even with this positive, there are still many more negatives. One must delve deep into the core issue and ask themselves and their common sense, can this really be solved? Or is this just a necessary practice among corporations and big businesses?
The start of this gloom issue is an article that outlines the harsh working conditions of the Foxconn factory, the manufacturing plant of Apple. This factory is also a part of other electronics manufactures plants, such as Samsung and Hewlett Packard, among many others. However, this whole incident of these workers in terrible conditions emerged from the prestige of the brand that is Apple. The opening of the article goes in depth of a explosion that occurred in the Foxconn factory, and that of a male who died two days later in the hospital with most of his body seared off. Also, after recent month to month suicides, Foxconn installed nets onto the buildings' roofs, so that suicide jumpers cannot kill themselves in a public manner. Not only does Apple know about this, a former executive of Apple said that they know of these conditions, and they will not change anything since it works for them. Another employee a year later said that the conditions are getting better, however, consumers who go in the factory would still be disturbed. I honestly believe that if the conditions are indeed improving, why would consumers be so disturbed? If all of this is due to a slightly less manufacturing cost, then Apple should not be doing this. This problem does not only involve Apple, but also many other electronic corporations that are very successful in the US. It is a shame that these issues are now being brought up due Apple's popularity, and that this issue could have been helped much longer ago.
Another source of mine that I've found is a CBS News article that highlights that Apple could indeed stop outsourcing and bring those jobs out there. It goes in detail the amount of the cold hard iPhones and other Apple products and how moving these jobs to the US and help stimulating the economy. Regarding this, when Jobs was with Obama a year ago, Obama asked if there's anyway Apple can bring the jobs back home, but Jobs said to Obama that the jobs aren’t coming back. While Jobs was saying that he cannot bring these jobs back, he also mean that US has lost any opportunity to have any type of manufacturing process. This may be true, but perhaps Apple starting a different trend and “thinking different” as their ads go, they should start producing in the US and help alleviate the dire working conditions in China. Even though Apple's profits may decrease a very miniscule amount, I believe that human's rights needs to be expressed fully.
An article from Greenbiz expresses that China is a necessary evil, and that many many corporations and companies outsource to their market. This helps stimulate the economy with China as well. The article also shares with the audience that after Nike's scandle of terrible and harsh working conditions, it seems like nothing has really changed since then, and many companies are not caring enough for the worker's. It also goes in depth of different corporations CEO's that has said that they have totally contributed to China's economy and has hired massive amount of female workers who would never been able to find a job in the society of China. While this is a positive indeed, we must once again ask that we need to establish better working conditions across the world. Just because corporations are helping people in foreign nations getting jobs, they all need to understand that there is more to it than just that. This is where basic morality comes into play. It is totally unacceptable to view people this way and have them slave in awful conditions. Corporations have to act on this. Citizens of the US have already created a petition for Apple and other corporations to help the worker's rights in foreign markets. This indicates that there is enough attention, however, the CEO's of these multi-billion dollar business must be the ones to actually do it. We need to try and revolutionize the way outsourcing is, and since Apple is such a huge corporation, and is the most valued company in Wall Street, I believe they need to be the ones to start this movement.

Answer 2

it is very informative and well said

Answer 3

Another source of mine that I've found is a
it's your source, you don't have to say that you found it. Keep one or the other

Answer 4

Okay ...i will remove thanks for the advice..anything else you guys could say...like tell me everything..write a paragraph or two if you have too haha

Answer 5

What's your thesis?

Answer 6

I am glad you noticed that i didn't have one...i actually had trouble creating one...any advice on what a good thesis would be for this based on other stuff

Answer 7

So, what's your purpose? What's your topic? Or, what's your goal in this?

Answer 8

oh sorry maybe i should have said this earlier..but this a source exploratory paper..where i write about my sources and what they are talking about....but my goal is to make people aware of Apple's unethical treatment of its factories

Answer 9

*factory workers

Answer 10

Your thesis could be that Apple should stop it's horrible business practices.

Answer 11

hmm okay okay yeah that sounds good.

Answer 12

But then you might have to change your thing a bit.You've got good facts, but they're not arguments. But I don't know if they need to be arguments (based on what you're doing)...

Answer 13

So. Is there anything you specifically need?

Answer 14

nope...just wanted to get feed back...any feed back is good...thanks for taking your time in giving me the tips.

Answer 15

Ill be glad to hear if you have more

Answer 16

Well, I've got arguments that work against your facts...

Answer 17

Okay sure....shoot

Answer 18

Well, businesses like Apple don't see it as fiscally intelligent to spend manpower or money reorganizing their business structure so that they are more "ethically sound". Because if they do so, that would mean products get a raise on price, and that would be a drop in potential customers. Also, while this is discussed on a minor level between academics and such, there's no big organization or a annoying bunch of hippies moaning about this, as it really doesn't affect the lives of potential customers (those who live in first world countries).

Answer 19

And while it is a problem that we are empowering a country who lacks much in humanity, businesses do whatever necessary to cut costs, as the office employees desire paychecks too.

Answer 20

It wouldn't seem as progress to them, as no new prototypes are being made, and no innovations are created.

Answer 21

Also, I can see the transition. But if there was more of a smoother transition, that would be nice.

Answer 22

Oh wow..yes i never that about the "there's no big organization or a annoying bunch of hippies moaning about this, as it really doesn't affect the lives of potential customers (those who live in first world countries). ".....That greatly expands my research in which I should talk about what other countries see as bad work environment....do you have any other ways i could approach this topic in general

Answer 23

This is my biased political opinion (which might be unrelated): China's become a problem globally, funding North Korea so that Nuclear Programs can advance, selling weapons and vehicles to corrupted governments in Africa and supporting the Taliban and all that.
The reason why first world countries won't act is because large businesses, like Apple, depend on Chinese factories to manufacture goods. If this was made an important realization to these companies, and the begin to see the money trail, maybe they can transfer the work back to USA.
Problem what that is, US citizens lack the drive that motivates overseas workers. Oversea workers see it as: do a horrendous job or starve beyond the point of their already miserable lives, while the workers here slack off, as they continuously take breaks whine, go unproductive, etc. Notice how in office jobs there's always the need to motivate the workers, when the workers themselves should be motivated by the desire to help their business, which then helps the economy, which helps their country, and the world in general (human world).