Question

Can someone proofread my persuasive essay; if you do I help you?

Answer 1

Let's start with the grammar errors:
-"...parents such at parties..." is missing words and/or punctuation. Please re-read it.
-"First reason is..." and "Second reason is..." need to have articles in front of them. "The first reason is..." and "The second reason is..." would be correct.
-"...concerns to me hanging out..." should be "...concerns about me hanging out..."
-"We can be best of friends." should instead read "We can be the best of friends."
-"Last concern would probably be; however..." the semicolon is used incorrectly here.
-"because you (as my parents..." doesn't have a closing parenthesis. Where does the parenthetical "as my parents..." end? I think you meant to end it at "...pick me up)."
-In "...my friends then at school", are you *absolutely* sure that "then" is the right word to use? They may word better suited to this sentence than the one you used ;)
-As in the above point, "(my parents and then my friends." should probably have a closing parenthesis just before the period.
-The sentence ending in "...with my friend’s and their guardian" has an incorrect use of apostrophe. I'll let you work out why this is :p

As for style and content:
-"It’s understandable I will have a curfew" should have the word "that" right before "I". That will make it a tad more readable.
-You might want to re-phrase the "Last concern would..." sentence. Is this the most important concern that your parents would have? If so, maybe change the sentence to read "The most important concern, however, would be...".

Hope this helps!

Answer 2

*There may be a word better suited... Looks like I didn't proofread my own post.

Answer 3

"Me and my friends" should be "my friends and I." I is used for subjects and subjective complements (nominative case), while me is used for direct objects, object of a preposition (objective case).
"About their interests" should be "about our interests."
"They enjoy doing" should be "we enjoy doing."
For the above two ideas, I'm assuming that you are using first person for the whole of the essay.
What is the real way to being friends? It sounds vauge.
No, I'm not convinced. Your reasons need to be more specfic. What do you do together when you hang out together? How is being active at another location better than being active at school? (Counter - Going to school with my friends is fun, because I partake with various school actives with my peers. I enjoy serveral activities such as Chorus and Newspaper Guild. In the Chorus, we sing together in harmony, and make funny jokes during practice. In the Newspaper Guild, we talk about topics that we might write about for the school newspaper. On occassions, we have parties and have free food and drinks.) This is an example of how I can convince you within a persuasive essay.