In my mind nothing is what it seems I jump in a puddle of blood I trip in a hole and fall down an abyss Upside down is rightside up and evil is the right thing to follow Nothing happens the way it should. You are born into death and die into life. In my mind fire is cold and ice scorches my skin Heaven is hell and happiness is a sin.To me nothing is always black or white. To my mind nothing is wat it seems

Question

jagatuba · Answer

What are you after here? Unless you have a question we don't know how to respond to your post. Are you looking for feedback on your writing? Is this a passage from another author that you are trying to understand? What do you need?

anonymous · Answer

feedback

jagatuba · Answer

It's not bad. In the last phrase "wat" should be "what" and you are missing a lot of punctuation. It would also be helpful to know what type of writing you are doing; poetry, prose, what is this? 

Content-wise it seems incomplete. Allegorically you have conflict, but no resolution. Resolution does not always mean the problem is solved. A very short example of what I mean would be:

I hate him. I want to kill him. - unresolved conflict.

I hate him. I want to kill him.  However, murderer I am not, so I will just hate him. - resolved conflict.

See the difference? I'm not leaving the reader wondering, "well, so, did he kill him or not?" Resolving the conflict that you create in your writing just means that you leave the reader knowing that the story (prose, poetry, or otherwise) is complete. I get to the end of this and feel like there is something more that you are not telling me.

anonymous · Answer

its poetry

jagatuba · Answer

Restructure it into stanzas and tell me what type of poetry you are shooting for and I can provide better feedback.

anonymous · Answer

free write

jagatuba · Answer

Free verse.  Even free verse is traditionally structured into stanza form. Also, punctuation in poetry, while sometimes played fast and loose with some writers, is usually the as as wen writing prose. So you still want sentences punctuated correctly, even if the sentences are broken up into lines.

anonymous · Answer

thye are when i write but when i type i forget puncuation