Question

Hi, I'm practicing essays for the SAT, and I was wondering if someone could read my essay, and tell me what I could improve on? I've attached the file.

Answer 1

I have done my best to review this essay. I think one of the things this paper needs help with the conclusions and wrap up setences at the end of the paragraphs. Every paragraph within an essay ends with a wrap up sentence which explains why this paragraph is important. Here is an example of a good wrap up setence: "The Holocaust truly proves that lying can, indeed, do much good, even to the point of saving lives." The reason why this paragraph is important is because the Gentiles saved lives through lying. Make sure when you write another practice essay that you remember to wrap up your other paragraphs as well.

The conclusion paragraph is a way to reflect back on what the paper suggests and develop a new idea that explains why the reader read this paper. What does Clara and the Rightous Gentiles imply about telling the truth and lies?

Finally, watch out for repetition. Sometimes, in this essay, the paper repeats the same facts in different words.

One random suggestion. When you save your word doc, use .doc or .docx .

Answer 2

Wow! Thank you so much, Boblankin, for such a nice, thorough review - just what I was looking for! I do agree that I have a bit too much repetition in the essay. I'll try to find ways to leave that out, in future essays. I also like what you said about improving my wrap-up/conclusion sentences. I'll definitely keep that in mind, as I write.

Thanks so much! Keep up the good work!

Answer 3

you are welcome :D