Question

is this a ok sentence?
'Proletariates are restrained by the vast amount of wealth that surrounds them, and the opportunity they are promised but never receive; they are left with an unattainable dream that cannot be pushed aside.'

Answer 1

You have an unnecessary comma after the first "them". The words after it and before the semicolon aren't a complete thought. So if you take it out, the sentence is grammatically sound.

Just for stylistics, I would change "amount" to "amounts" (and therefore "surrounds" to surround") and "receive" to "given".

Answer 2

thank you :)

Answer 3

you're welcome.