Question

Yo guys...i just made a song...its more like a poem but whatever...its not very good and its kinda cheesy...tell me what u think...

Answer 1

My heart...
is filling up like a shopping cart...
its like im at a value mart...
i mean this is a start...
i know it may not be smart...
But it ain't short...
its like shooting a half court...

Ill be like peter pan...
just take my hand...
let ur feet touch the sand...
this feeling is just so grand...
just take my hand...
lets go across the land...
this is our last stand...
Just take my hand..
our love was just unplanned...
So ill be like peter pan...
So just take my hand...

Answer 2

it good kinda weird but its good

Answer 3

awh its so cheesy but good

Answer 4

Thanks :D

Answer 5

I like it!!!

Answer 6

aww its cute

Answer 7

Poetry goes in the writing section, lyrics can go here. This is good though.

Answer 8

I think the last line should be changed to "If you just take my hand"
and if you fill it in with some more words it'll sound like a real song instead of a poem and won't be so cheesy but great efforts on it!

Answer 9

Thanks person!

Answer 10

your welcome earthlink

Answer 11

ME earthling? hahah! For i am THE UNDEADKNIGHT26!
*character change* @linn99123 this is your fault :p

Answer 12

lolI was kidding you called me person so I called you earthlink get it?

Answer 13

Yeah i know it was an inside joke between me and linn and i am an immortal from the underworld! i have a poem/song for that one too XD

Answer 14

right

Answer 15

and who's linn?

Answer 16

a friend of mine.

Answer 17

oh okay well good luck on your song/poem or whatever it is

Answer 18

Just kidding but good luck

Answer 19

now that I think about it you should revise it, I mean it's good but not all people know what a value mart is and some people don't play basket ball either