Question

i wrote this so tell me what you think ok?

It was a dark night in Kansas. As I walk down the dark road towards my house. Out of nowhere I heard the strangest noise I had ever heard. My fight or flight instinct kicked in, I began to run. Then suddenly these trouble maker neighborhood boys jump out and scare the pellet out of me, they began to make fun of me. And just as I was getting fed up with their stupid comments and pointless bullying, This very large, very beautiful wolf appeared to come from thin air; I blinked in fear, and expected it to be gone. It was right there looking into my eyes

Answer 1

no more than 5 inches away from my face. I swear I was frozen in fear. It looked at me with these sad brown eyes, almost tired looking. I was petrified, until it licked me, I just stared at it blankly, it caught me totally off guard. But it surprised me pleasantly. I was glad it didn’t eat my face However the bitter sweet moment lasted only a few short minutes. It ran after the boys, made the little piggies run all the way home. This strange affair happened over the next week several times. The numbers of the bullies were diminishing…She couldn’t help but think the dog like animal was trying to help her. She had said the night before “I can’t take these bullies any longer, I need them to go away.” And the next day this creature shows up, coincidence? I think not.

Answer 2

Max, what i had named him, followed her everywhere, school, home, on walks, everywhere. So i would shoo Max away while my parents and teachers around, but loved playing with him. And he seemed to love me just as much.


-4 months later-

*you cut me off, i lost my track, its not my fault im a man-*

I groan as i get out of bed, looking at the time. its 10:35 am. time to get up i thought.

Answer 3

@kengfa @Princesskid

Answer 4

It's good, but watch you punctuation and word tense. You seem to be writing in both past and present. Revise that and I believe you'll be off to a good start.

Answer 5

its a good start

Answer 6

omg i loved it, I just might use your idea in a story I'm doing. I love this. keep going!!!!

Answer 7

@loveless13 want to help me write it?

Answer 8

omg yes!!!!!

Answer 9

ok. well if you want to change anything or just add more let me know ok? :)

Answer 10

I'll add a lot more lol writting is my thing.

Answer 11

mine too

Answer 12

yay!!! awesome. I'll post another part wen I write it 'kay?

Answer 13

are your going to write it now or later?

Answer 14

now I'll post it wen I can.

Answer 15

ok :)