Question

Does this introductory paragraph makes sense?

Answer 1

As a child I grew up in fear of the so-called ‘monsters’ in movies and in books. Monsters are usually portrayed as cruel, wicked and frightening beings. Many times I wondered why they’d even want to harm me, I was only a little innocent girl. Now that I am older, I tend to blame my siblings and even my parents for instilling fear of monsters. But interestingly, now I am constantly drawn to scary movies, monsters, and mystery.

Answer 2

Jessie please... this is a terrible introduction. I can help you develop a strong introduction. What is the essay prompt?

Answer 3

The rest of my essay so far lol:


I’m not a scientific analyst, nor a psychologist. But my opinion is that as human beings, we have many needs, one of them is the need of feeling fear. Fear causes momentary changes in our system, yet we are so curious to know the outcome of a movie that we tolerate the torture of watching until the end. The effect of fear in every person is different. Personally, I think that there is a lot to be learned from the so-called ‘monsters’ in movies and in stories, since the author clearly cares about telling the motives and reasons behind such cruelty. Frankenstein and Dracula for example, both of these “monsters” are portrayed as monstrous and cruel, however both of them have a story, and a ‘reason’ why they act the way they do.
In the story, Frankenstein, a Swiss doctor creates a monster and names it Frankenstein. This monster is initially kind and gentle, but is left confused after his creator abandons him. He tries to integrate himself into society, only to be shunned. After looking at himself in the mirror one day, he realizes his hideous, grotesque physical appearance. He then seeks revenge on his creator, the doctor, and kills his younger brother and his best friend. Later on in the story, Frankenstein’s ‘human side’ is revealed. He helps a group of poor peasants and saves a girl from drowning. However, because of his hideous appearance, he is rewarded only with beatings and disgust.

The second example is Dracula. Dracula is an evil vampire; he kills people with no remorse. Though his misdeeds in no way can be justified, there are however, circumstances, which in a way led him to become a ‘monster’. Before becoming a vampire, Dracula was a nobleman living in a castle in Transylvania, Romania. After fighting a battle against the Turks, Dracula returned to his castle to find his wife dead. She had committed suicide after being told by the Turks that Dracula had died in the battle. The priest denied her burial in a Christian graveyard because she had committed suicide and her soul was condemned to hell. Dracula cursed God and denounced his religion. He drank blood and claimed he was going to avenge humanity.
In both of these stories, the monsters have suffered, just like human beings. Circumstances and society in a way, played a big role in their development of becoming “monsters”. They are outcasts. They seek revenge in society.

Answer 4

This is for HS right?

Answer 5

yesh ^_^

Answer 6

This is a very poor essay. I don't believe that syntax or structure is an issue, but rather the rhetorical organization and discipline . I am not really familiar with the writing level at a HS as I am a grad student. However, I don't think it would really matter if you turned this in as is, considering it is a short essay at a high school level. If you'd like, I can guide you in writing a better paper in the future.

Answer 7

Yes please, writing is my weakness :( I need help, I really want to improve at writing, I know that it will be very important to be able to write at least decent essay in college.

Answer 8

When you get to your college ENC 1101, you're most likely going to be writing some small research papers around 7-10 pages. The first step is to develop a thesis. Do you know how to develop a thesis?

Answer 9

hmm is it like my opinion?

Answer 10

Generally. You should state a valid opinion along with 3, solid points.

Answer 11

For example, I'll use a paper I'm currently doing on Theoretical Physics.

"Theoretical Physics requires superior intellect, immense knowledge, and divine creativity in order to produce valid, institutionalized ideals."

Your thesis should only be a sentence long.

Answer 12

So for this essay, you can take several diff. approaches. I can't find the exact prompt... that msg disappeared on me LOL but generally it would require your take on "monsters".