Question

Here is another one of my writings, please medal if you liked it, please give me feedback, HONESTLY

Answer 1

What is the meaning of weird? To me weird seems like a compliment now a days. If you are weird you are unique, you are wonderful and perfect in your own ways. So what if the kids at school or parents or others don’t like you because you are weird. That just means that they do not understand that you are better than them. You can do more, you understand things differently. You believe and see the truth not the lies that was forced into them as children.

So what are you if you are a weirdo? You are you. As simple as that, the answer that you have been looking for. You have many names, geek, jock, emo, hippie, homo, redneck, nerd (geek and nerd are different), whore, slut, douche, wingspan, or retrice They are all just how people judge you. NOW TAKE THOSE NAMES AWAY! What do you get? You get these honest names, Beautiful, loving, kind, wonderful, and UNIQUE. In your own way you are something that can be decribed in many words, not together but as one. You. You is that one word, that one word that means no matter who or what you are no one can be the same. We are all different, so why judge someone just because they are different from you? We are all different so just judge yourself you weirdo!

Answer 2

I like the general theme of your writing, but I feel as if you stray from the topics at some points and completely change your train of thought. As well as the fact that you repeat words way too often.
Also, (I'm going to give you my personal & honest opinion on this) but why must someone seem superior to others? We live in a broken society where we belittle others and expect to be treated kindly in return?
No one really wants to be seen as the "weirdo", this is just a name tossed around to make fun of the outsiders and underdogs. But by reinforcing this you're not really doing anything but helping fuel this. Now, I'm not saying that it's wrong to own up to it; but how about instead of using belittling terms, we say things (like you stated) "unique".

Side note, please please please do more research on groups of people instead of just naming labels! Jocks, hippies, rednecks, etc are not 'weirdoes'.
And try to stay away from homophobic slurs and slut-shaming! Don't try to include slurs (if it's not necessary) in your writing.

Answer 3

Technically Problems

There needs to be period between retrice
Retrice is not a word or is spelled wrong. (ive never heard of it and spell check says its wrong)
Described is spelled wrong.
Okay first thing try really hard not to start with a question. That’s a great way to develop a hook when you first learn how to write but eventually you need to fall out of that habit and try different hooks.
You can replace the period with a comma between ways and so
Your second paragraph begins with a conjunctions. Try to avoid beginning with conjunctions in sentences. Never begin with conjunctions in school paper and if you are free writing make sure there is a purpose to starting a sentence with a conjunction and be aware of what you’re doing. But never begin a paragraph with a conjunction.
There are transition words to use but personally I find those a little week. There are other ways to transition the form I personally like to use is connecting the last sentence in one paragraph to the first sentence in another.
Also you began another paragraph with a question. Try to avoid this. Questions are okay to ask in writings but not as the hook.
“As simple as that, the answer that you have been looking for. “ this sentence doesn’t entirely make sense. I understand what youre trying to say but it needs reworded.
First line last two words should be now in not now a.
Try to stray from using the word just. I had this problem a while ago and it’s a bad habit that is hard to break. But saying just makes your writing weaker. Not weak but not as strong as it could be.




The actual writing

Okay so you have a great voice but I did have some problems with a few things. Now I agree that were all weird and different because im weird and different. I’ve always been outcasted that’s just part of my story so I understand everything youre saying cause ive been there.
So the first thing I had an issue with which is merely perception is the perfect. For me perfection is an illogical word. Perfection cant exist and say it does only brings up false hope. Now this is really just a my perspective thing and my interpretation.
Now the second I had a major issue with because your paper contradicts itself. In the first paragraph you say that weird people are better than non weird people. I really don’t like when people do this because it makes you just as bad as them in my opinion. You’re shaming someone for not being weird which is as bad as shaming someone for being weird. A lot of people do this and I believe in the philosophy of you do you, but saying that there not as good as someone else is just as judgmental. Now the contradiction is that you claim that everybody’s weird and unique which I agree with. However you just took away the meaning behind what you had said earlier. You said the weird people are better than non weird people but then everyone’s weird. Now the reader is left confused on what youre trying to say its all of the place.
I really like the message you’re trying to send and obviously a good writer. Nobodies first draft is perfect, or there second, or there third, not even their fourth. So don’t let any of this discourage. Yoou’re a great writer. Personally I would dissect this essay use sentences as points and use those points to go more in depth. This is short and you didn’t have the time to explain as much as you needed. So dissect, write, create, aspire, inspire!

Answer 4

Thank you. I really appreciate what you two have said, it helps me a lot so i can write better.