Topic- The prepared college student vs. the unprepared college student

Question

destinyyyy · Answer

Hows this-- 

When imagining a prepared college student an image of a well-organized, smart, early, and social person pops into the mind. Many prepared college students are also managing their time and money. By balancing studying, working and having fun, the student shows time management. Not always working and taking a short break to relax the mind, body and spirit. The unprepared student will be all over the place and stressed. Their assignments will most likely be turned in late, and they will be short on time. The student is either spending too much time doing something like working, or having fun and not enough with class work. This will cause academic problems, such as not turning in assignments, cheating, plagiarizing, and/or being dropped from the course. However the prepared college student will also have excellent money management skills, from saving money for college by applying for financial aid on time, scholarships, working, and/or taking the correct courses for their intended major. The opposite will be the unprepared college student, with little to no financial aid, no scholarships and taking courses that are not necessary and are a waste of their time and money.

anonymous · Answer

I think thats great =)

anonymous · Answer

You should tag someone higher up the chain of command to see what they think also

destinyyyy · Answer

Like who?

destinyyyy · Answer

Thank you.

anonymous · Answer

Idk. just someone higher lol
and No prob =D

destinyyyy · Answer

@Jaynator495 @TheSmartOne @Hero

destinyyyy · Answer

Guess they didn't want to give their opinion :/

anonymous · Answer

=( hmm..i guess not

destinyyyy · Answer

@Teddyiswatshecallsme  @nincompoop

thesmartone · Answer

`"By balancing studying, working and having fun, the student shows time management."`

Reword it to:

`"By balancing studies, work, and fun, the student shows time management."`

And this sentence here is a sentence fragment:

`"Not always working and taking a short break to relax the mind, body and spirit."`

This sentence needs parallel structure:

`"This will cause academic problems, such as not turning in assignments, cheating, plagiarizing, and/or being dropped from the course."`

Change it to:

`"This will cause academic problems, such as not turning in assignments, cheating, plagiarizing, and/or dropping the course."`

Here, you have not used the word however properly:

`"However the prepared college student will also have excellent money management skills,"`

Make it:

`"However, the prepared college student will also have excellent money management skills,"`

Also, the word `however` does not make sense at the beginning of this sentence as it does not contrast an opinion from the previous sentence.

Revise this sentence from:

`"However the prepared college student will also have excellent money management skills, from saving money for college by applying for financial aid on time, scholarships, working, and/or taking the correct courses for their intended major."`

Change it to:

`"The prepared college student will also have excellent money management skills;They are able to save money for college by working and by applying for financial aid, scholarships."`

This phrase does not belong in that sentence as it goes off-topic:

`"and/or taking the correct courses for their intended major."`

What does that have to do with excellent money mangagement skills?

Change this:

`"The opposite will be the unprepared college student, with little to no financial aid, no scholarships and taking courses that are not necessary and are a waste of their time and money."`

to:

`"On the other hand, the unprepared college student will have little to no financial aid and scholarships."`

And at the end you can add this phrase:

`"A prepared college student will save time by taking the correct courses for their intended major unlike the unprepared college student."`

thesmartone · Answer

But tbh, you need to define what a prepared college student is and what an unprepared college student it...

thesmartone · Answer

You're talking about them being in college already, what about before that?

destinyyyy · Answer

Gezz that's a lot. I don't think Im suppose to define what they are. And im just giving a contrast on the tropic that's all. One paragraph 150 word minim. I can show you what two other students have written. Thank you for responding

thesmartone · Answer

np :)