Question

Can someone just make this part of my second chapter all present tense not past?

Answer 1

Our story continues when Phoenix turns 12 years old. She is a spirited, kind, beautiful young girl. She loves helping everyone out. However, she always dreams of flying like the dragons, fairies, and the other flying creatures. Every time the dragons are out on their daily hunting trip, the fairies hang around her and made fun of her because she can't fly, calling her a “helpless, little landling”. She never gets offended, for she has been made fun of on numerous occasions. However, there is one specific fairy named Embera who never made fun of her. Embera earned her name for being as small as an ember from a fire, much smaller than any other fairy, but don’t let her size fool you. Embera always disapproves of the other fairies' harshness, so she quickly became Phoenix's friend.
Phoenix learned just about everything from Embera, including all about humans. Phoenix was intrigued that she had come from the world of humans and yet she never remembered them. Although, she couldn't believe humans could be so cruel as to just abandon one of their own kind out in the wild, left to die.
After a hard day's work, Phoenix climbs up the biggest tree she could find and rests on a large limb in the tree's canopy, watching the sunset.
"Beautiful night," someone says.
"Yeah," Phoenix replies. "Why didn't they want me? Y'know, my parents....or whatever," She turns her head to see that Tarin was standing on a nearby branch. He looked like he was in human form except he had large wings upon his back.
"I...I don't know..." He replied, lowering his head.
"Well, if THEY didn't want me, why would YOU?" She snapped with a slight tinge of anger surfing her voice.
"You're...." Tarin paused, searching for the right word. "You're special."
"I'm...special??" Phoenix repeated, confused and surprised, the anger rising.
She sat up, glaring deeply at Tarin.
"In a good way, of course!" Tarin replied quickly, seeing her anger. "I'll tell you tomorrow. It's getting late. You had better get to bed."
Tarin jumped off the branch he was on and plummeted toward the ground, opening his wings seconds before he would have crashed into the ground.
Phoenix sighed and furrowed her brows. What did he mean she was special? All she knew was that he had a LOT to explain in the morning. She relaxed and put her back against the tree's trunk, looking at the stars.
She closed her her eyes and quickly fell asleep. She awoke barely a minute later, startled. She was falling. She tried to call for help, but her cries were drowned out by the wind. She fell for about five terrifying seconds, and that was the last thing she remembered.

Answer 2

You actually keep jumping from present tense to past tense.....

Answer 3

I know. I just need someone to make it all present.

Answer 4

You know, after reading it again, it looks okay :) Cause making it present: "Phoenix learns just about everything from Embera, including all about humans. Phoenix is intrigued that she has come from the world of humans and yet she never remembers them. " doesn't seem right, at least to me it doesn't
Before, I had just scanned it but now after actually copy/pasting it onto a document (that makes it easier to read) it seems okay :) I'm a writer too and I know this stuff

Answer 5

@bigpapa1 I thought it sounded wrong making it present too, but my parents disagree. Idk

Answer 6

It's your story, do what you think is right..... (And that is why I don't show my parents my writing) but I think it's fine cause like I said there are some parts in there that if you made it present it would sound weird

Answer 7

Yeah.