Question

Can someone please help me rewrite my conclusion for my essay?

Answer 1

What is it?

Answer 2

My topic is about gender neutral restrooms. My conclusion is :
As public restrooms are located everywhere, everyone should be able to feel comfortable and safe in today’s world. All gender restrooms should become a necessity for public use. Although there are some objections as to increased assaults, a private facility may be the only place for everyone of any gender to use comfortably without being violated than separated facilities. By making this change around the country, it would allow anyone to live how they please exclusively.

My teacher told me to avoid talking about the opposition so now I don't know what to write

Answer 3

Your teacher probably wants you to avoid introducing new concepts in your conclusion. You conclusion is meant to restate what you've already said in a new way. The sentence about the opposition is out of place. I'm not sure what you said it the rest of your essay, but try taking some of that, and restating it differently.

Answer 4

So my thesis is ,Gender neutral bathrooms aren't just cost effective, but they ease the endless burden of transgender Americans.
How should I restate this in my conclusion?

Answer 5

@HarleyQuinn

Answer 6

Something along the lines of "Although all gender inclusive bathrooms might be an idea that is foreign to most Americans, the implementation of them would greatly improve the quality of everyday living for many transgender individuals."

Answer 7

Also, since your thesis is focused on how this would lessen the burden on transgender Americans, make sure that somewhere is your essay, you mention what those burdens are and how gender inclusive bathrooms specifically would lessen those burdens.

Answer 8

In the rest of my essays I talked about how transgenders are assaulted in binary bathrooms and also how it would be better to have gender neutral restrooms

Answer 9

Well it sounds like you're good then :)
If you want me to, I can proof your entire essay?

Answer 10

Yeah sure (: Give me a sec

Answer 11

Privacy is important to a majority of people because sometimes what a person does behind closed doors is not for everyone in the public eye to be aware of. When one is in public, do they still have the right to privacy? No matter where anyone might be they still have a certain expectation such as using the restroom. The way it was designed was to be used in peace. Paired gender bathrooms are but an arbitrary antique of a simpler, more undeveloped time. Gender neutral bathrooms aren't just cost effective, but they ease the endless burden of transgender Americans.
Gender neutral bathrooms are toilets that any gender or identity could utilize. In public places there could either be single occupancy facilities for all genders or multi-stalls that have a few of them for gender neutral individuals. With these varieties of bathrooms, they are supposed to make everyone comfortable especially those who classify themselves as the opposite of what they were born as. Sometimes their safety can be jeopardized in a specific female/male bathroom. They can be able to use the restroom in peace without else trying to violate them.
Nowadays a vast majority of public restrooms are divided by a specific gender. For most transgender individuals, it could be quite uncomfortable and nerve-wracking trying to decide which door to go through. They feel as if they are being pressured into going into a specific facility depending on what identity they are on the outside. As they enter the doors, they are frightened because of the ridicule comments and strange looks from others being told that they are in the wrong restroom or being told to leave the premises and of course questioning their gender. After that experience, it scars the individual forever leaving an imprint. But if gender neutral restrooms were constructed, it would be a safer environment for everyone. It allows the opportunity to express their right to use the restroom appropriate for them. Also to let them live as who they are without people wondering and questioning their gender.
As years go by, many, many people have identified themselves as transgender. The population is increasing as more of the world has become more accepting. An article reports that “there are nearly 700,000 transgender individuals in the U.S., or 0.3% of the adult population.” (Gates 4). This shows that there could be more out there that haven’t exposed themselves. The reason for this is because they are afraid of what other people’s opinions are and wish to be treated like everyone else. In the Washington D.C. area it was “found that an overwhelming majority - 70% - had experienced some sort of negative reaction when using the bathroom.” (Ford 1). If more gender neutral restrooms are implemented, transgender people won’t face such negative reactions as they do when using gender specific facilities. Also, another 9% of transgenders were physically assaulted by others while trying to use the restrooms. This type of treatment is unacceptable and is discriminating transgender individuals making them feel uncomfortable.
Even though this issue is for transgenders to be more comfortable in private facilities, there are others out there that would be uncomfortable with the switch to all gender restrooms. If bathrooms were desegregated into multi-stalls, there could be a significantly higher chance for sexual and physical assault. Some say allowing transgender women into women’s restrooms or locker rooms pose a serious threat. As this topic rises, many are wondering why the 95% have to change to fit the 5% transgender civilian’s needs. A sexual assault victim stated her opinion about this idea and was not too happy about it, “I am not saying that transgender people are predators. Not by a long shot. What I am saying is that there are countless deviant men in this world who will pretend to be transgender as a means of gaining access to the people they want to exploit, namely women and children. It already happens.” (Harkness 14). There are other many dangerous situations that could occur for example, “If a female student passes out at 3 a.m. in a bathroom stall, would you prefer another female find her, or have it be a coin flip whether the next person coming through that door is a male or female? Personally, I would prefer another female student find her, as opposed to a potentially intoxicated male.”(Socawlege 8). The real question here is which one would out rule if it would be beneficial or do more harm.
As public restrooms are located everywhere, everyone should be able to feel comfortable and safe in today’s world. All gender restrooms should become a necessity for public use. Although all gender inclusive bathrooms might be an idea that is foreign to most Americans, the utilization of them would greatly improve the quality of everyday living for many transgender individuals. By making this change around the country, it would allow anyone to live how they please exclusively.

Answer 12

Could you also help me with what the title should be ? (: thank you

Answer 13

Sure! Maybe title it "In Favor of Gender Inclusive Restrooms"? It looks like you're missing a few commas here and there. A good technique to figure out when to use a comma is to read your essay out loud and anytime you would naturally pause, add a comma.

Answer 14

Okay thank you!

Answer 15

No problem! Good luck!