Question

Simple paragraph help.

Answer 1

so i need help with someone reading my short paragraph and seeing if it makes sense.

Answer 2

I'll do it!

Answer 3

really? thank you!!

Answer 4

lol sure, wanna copy and paste it or do you have a link?

Answer 5

wait i'm putting it on google docs.

Answer 6

kk i gtg for about 20 min brb

Answer 7

ok..

Answer 8

tell me, when you're back please.

Answer 9

If you post it in here I can give you a few tips.

Answer 10

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xn2k1UtE2TdBxYDKuDRSE-s2yvGoPWb-UyqYWlt3BMQ/edit

Answer 11

yea i think its good

Answer 12

I added comments about your grammar

Answer 13

really? i have questions.

Answer 14

I'm happy to help you, ask away

Answer 15

so you ever heard about this story before?

Answer 16

No, I haven't. I was only commenting on the grammar

Answer 17

ah, i'm suppose to be writing like, the reader doesn't know anything about the sory, does it make sense to you?

Answer 18

Yeah, that makes sense

Answer 19

this is a character analysis paragraph, i'm suppose to be writing 1 paragraph about 2 character in the story

Answer 20

and i just want to see if it makes sense.

Answer 21

Sorry if I'm not making a lot of sense by the way, I think this sort of stuff is easier understood in person :)

Answer 22

I understand what you're saying about the character

Answer 23

you want me to change it to editable mode??

Answer 24

i have A LOT more questions also if you don't mind answering please.

Answer 25

sure

Answer 26

having a good memory doesn't fit

Answer 27

say ( and a good memory

Answer 28

than after that it is perfect

Answer 29

did I help?

Answer 30

"a good memory" doesn't make sense in this case

Answer 31

no that fits

Answer 32

the quality of "having a good memory" is applicable

Answer 33

@Mindblast3r maybe tag someone with a high score who is active

Answer 34

actually it should be a fine memory becuase good doesn't seem to fit

Answer 35

may I have a medal please

Answer 36

bye

Answer 37

@Mindblast3r You might want to try getting help from a teacher at your school if you can, @Smartyprincess is not correct.

Answer 38

really?

Answer 39

why isn't she correct?

Answer 40

?

Answer 41

In English, we use parallel structures. In this case, we're making a list of qualities - personality traits. "a good memory" is a noun, and not parallel to "kind" and "impulsive", which are adjectives used to describe a subject - which is your central figure.

Answer 42

Then what is it then because nothing else than I am correct

Answer 43

To make the first sentence grammatically correct, you're going to want to make a list of parallel nouns. Let me reword:
Three personality traits of the character Wes Holman in the story Long Long After School are: kindness, impulsiveness, and intelligence.
Intelligence or another noun which describes the quality of having a good memory is most correct. :) I hope that helps.

Answer 44

Just subbing in a noun like "memory" is not correct because it's not a personality trait. It's like saying "brain" or "pineal gland". You can use this list for reference:
http://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-personality-traits.html

Answer 45

I need to go to class now, good luck on your assignment!

Answer 46

Be wary of listening to people on the internet for help, though. Your teachers are the best resource and are most reliable!

Answer 47

Thank you!

Answer 48

@sparklecorn can u please answer me

Answer 49

huh? why ask in my thread?