Question

Post all the poems you want here. :)

Answer 1

What do I do,
in a world with out you,
a world without sunshine,
a world without light,
what do I do
in a world without you?

When I lost you,
I lost my way,
I lost my hope,
I lost my dreams,
what do I do,
in a world without you?

Without you I am nothing
I have no substance
I have no hope,
I have no light.
What do I do
in a world without you?

What do I do in a world without you?
What do I do?
When I lose you.
~ Addicted2Anime

Answer 2

Great poem!!!

Answer 3

thx

Answer 4

heres a few

Answer 5

you're welcome to offer feedback

Answer 6

i'll read them when i get a chance.

Answer 7

The world is my oyster
Im coming out of my shell
they say these things but I realize I'll fail
for how could they know that my life is a hell
the fear of failure of disappointment
the betrayal I've witnessed the promises broken
how can I succeed when all they do is compare me to themselves
just a break is all I want is that so much to ask?
to live up to my expectations not their's
I cannot re-live the past
such is my task and so it shall be
but i fear i shall never succeed

Answer 8

Wow.

Answer 9

my poems aren't that good sometimes the words fit sometimes they suck

Answer 10

Commas can make a difference.

Answer 11

yeah lol true

Answer 12

if u want i could edit the one u just posted.

Answer 13

feel free

Answer 14

The world is my oyster,
Im coming out of my shell,
they say these things, but I realize I'll fail
for how could they know that my life is hell,
the fear of failure, of disappointment,
the betrayal I've witnessed, the promises that have been broken
how can I succeed when all they do is compare me to themselves,
i just want a break, is that so much to ask?
to live up to my expectations not their's,
I cannot re-live their past,
such is my task and so it shall be,
but i fear,
i shall never succeed

Answer 15

not bad i was thinking of adding quotations to the firs two lines as well

Answer 16

cool, i'm kinda new to writing for fun and no one has read my poems before, and i'm new to editing.

Answer 17

well im a decent writer most of the time but @RhondaSommer is a badass when it comes to writing and editing

Answer 18

@Addicted2Anime have you had a chance to read my others

Answer 19

no sorry

Answer 20

@Addicted2Anime

"A good poem does not need a comma because a good reader would know where to pause."

Something I have gone by throughout writing. You need to realize that the poem that @dako87 wrote was fine, and had no need for editing. "Why?", you might ask. Simply this:

At the end of any line in a poem, the reader is subjected to pause, however slightly the pause may be. So, in response to any poem I read, I recommend that the writer only place comma's where they are absolutely necessary. I think you have over thought his poem just as I am overthinking your response to it.

Shall I post one of my own poems?

Answer 21

I pretty sure you can. (that's what @Addicted2Anime said)

Answer 22

Lol, ok. and my mom explaind that to meh yesterday

Answer 23

Putting everything I have into becoming sane
As the wind fiercely made its way around the sky, so blue
Everything eventually succumbed to the mark of Cain

I voluntarily isolated myself in my distant domain
Every day, little by little, my thoughts spiral askew
Putting everything I have into becoming sane

I could use some help to figure out a way to contain
All of the things that have been past due
Everything eventually succumbed to the mark of Cain

Immortally connected to this resilient chain
My being as new as the dim light coming through
Putting everything I have into becoming sane

Thereafter overcoming overwhelming amounts of pain
I shall finally be allowed to return to you
Everything eventually succumbed to the mark of Cain

Grabbing my head, believing that I’m going insane
Struck with the light that often gives a clue
Everything eventually succumbed to the mark of Cain
Putting everything I have into becoming sane

Answer 24

What kind of poems?

Answer 25

Not that I know very many lol

Answer 26

you can post any type of poem you want.

Answer 27

you have some great poems

Answer 28

thx

Answer 29

niter was my first one. and i have first hand experience w/ sadness and greif, and brother that died
, so its eiser 4 me to write about it, and i don't write often

Answer 30

my life is pretty much boring so i don't have anything to inspire me i mostly stick to writing books to escape my boredom in real life

Answer 31

lol, write poems when u are really eomtionail and wow i can't spell.

Answer 32

lol now that i think about it, i could have written a poem about boredom with how much i know about it