Question

The Pomegranate Seeds First draft

Answer 1

@Vocaloid

Answer 2

can you help me with this

Answer 3

what is the assignment? is the pomegranate seeds a book?

Answer 4

yes

Answer 5

what's the essay prompt?

Answer 6

prompt

Answer 7

what is the essay topic?

Answer 8

are you given any instructions?

Answer 9

Structure and Details
40 points possible 36-40 points
The student has written a first draft of a narrative story based on "The Pomegranate Seeds" that demonstrates a thorough understanding of clear structure and well-chosen details.
32-35 points
The student has written a first draft of a narrative story based on "The Pomegranate Seeds" that demonstrates an understanding of structure and details.

28-31 points
The student has written a first draft of a narrative story based on "The Pomegranate Seeds" that demonstrates a basic understanding of structure and details.

0-27 points
The student has not written a first draft of a narrative story based on "The Pomegranate Seeds" that demonstrates an understanding of structure and details.

Characterization and Dialogue
40 points possible 36-40 points
The student has included meaningful dialogue and thoroughly developed characters.
32-35 points
The student has included dialogue and mostly developed characters.
28-31 points
The student has included dialogue and characters. 0-27 points
The student has not included dialogue and characters.
Conventions
20 points possible 20 points
First draft demonstrates excellent attention to detail with zero grammatical errors. 17-19 points
First draft demonstrates good control of conventions; errors are few and minor and do not distract from ideas. 14-16 points
First draft demonstrates adequate control of conventions; errors distract from ideas or impede understanding at times.
0-13 points
First draft needs to be revised and edited to demonstrate basic understanding of conventions. Errors impede readability.

Answer 10

ok, so you want to write a story (from your own imagination) using the book as your inspiration

Answer 11

what do you have so far?

Answer 12

noting me and writing aren't friends

Answer 13

well, first make sure you have read the book and understand the story well

Answer 14

maybe you could pick a character you like from the book, and write from their perspective

Answer 15

ok so can I tell you so far what I have

Answer 16

you just said you didn't have anything though

Answer 17

I am happy to proofread but you have to do most of the work

Answer 18

Spend some time thinking of a story, write the entire draft, and then come back to me when you are done. it doesn't have to be good, but I need something to work with.

Answer 19

ok

Answer 20

@Ultrilliam

Answer 21

@Bearclaws72

Answer 22

can u help me

Answer 23

Are you in flvs?

Answer 24

flvs

Answer 25

Ok I havnt gotten to this yet
sorry but uh whats it about pomegranate seeds?

Answer 26

I have to right a first draft and vocaloid to me to write something up and i'm done can you read it

Answer 27

Yah sure

Answer 28

When Mother Ceres told Proserpina not to wandering about the fields by yourself she didn't
Listen to Mother Ceres warning she ran quickly to a spot where, only the day before, she had seen a great many flowers. These, however, were now a little past their bloom; and wishing to give her friends the freshest and loveliest blossoms, she strayed farther into the fields, and found some that made her scream with delight. Never had she met with such exquisite flowers before--violets so large and fragrant--roses with so rich and delicate a blush--such superb hyacinths and such aromatic pinks--and many others, some of which seemed to be of new shapes and colors. Two or three times, moreover, she could not help thinking that a tuft of most splendid flowers had suddenly sprouted out of the earth before her very eyes, as if on purpose to tempt her a few steps farther. Proserpina's apron was soon filled, and brimming over with delightful blossoms. She was on the point of turning back in order to rejoin the sea nymphs, and sit with them on the moist sands, all twining wreaths together. But, a little farther on, what should she behold? It was a large shrub, completely covered with the most magnificent flowers in the world. Proserpina had a choice to turn round and run away.
"What a silly child I am!" thought she, taking courage. "It is really the most beautiful shrub that ever sprang out of the earth. I will pull it up by the roots, and carry it home, and plant it in my mother's garden." Proserpina seized the large shrub with the other, and pulled, and pulled, but was hardly able to loosen the soil about its roots. What a deep-rooted plant it was! Again the girl pulled with all her might, and observed that the earth began to stir and crack to some distance around the stem. She gave another pull, but relaxed her hold, fancying that there was a rumbling sound right beneath her feet. Did the roots extend down into some enchanted cavern? Then laughing at herself for so childish a notion, she made another effort: up came the shrub, and Proserpina staggered back, holding the stem triumphantly in her hand, and gazing at the deep hole which its roots had left in the soil. King Pluto told Proserpina he beckoned her to come a little nearer Do not be afraid," said he, with as cheerful a smile as he knew how to put on. "Come! Will you not like to ride a little way with me, in my beautiful chariot Proserpina's first thought was to call for her mother. "Mother, Mother Ceres!" cried she, all in a tremble. "Come quickly and save m

Answer 29

This looks amazing did you write this? If so good job

Answer 30

yes what do you think

Answer 31

I think its great basically ready to submit only thing I would say is that I cant see the end but IM sure its good so if I were you I would submit that for full credit if you need anything else lemme know ok?

Answer 32

ok

Answer 33

hey what u think Ultrilliam

Answer 34

The end seems to be cut off, but other then that, it seems great ^_^

Answer 35

the end I got a little lost

Answer 36

I think you have a good start, let's start working on grammar/structure

Answer 37

When Mother Ceres told Proserpina not to wandering (this should be "wander" not wandering" about the fields by yourself(add comma) she didn't
Listen (make this lowercase) to Mother Ceres(put apostrophe to make it Mother Ceres') warning(add period and start new sentence) she ran quickly to a spot where, only the day before, she had seen a great many flowers. These, however, were now a little past their bloom; and wishing to give her friends the freshest and loveliest blossoms, she strayed farther into the fields, and found some that made her scream with delight. Never had she met with such exquisite flowers before--violets so large and fragrant--roses with so rich and delicate a blush--such superb hyacinths and such aromatic pinks--and many others, some of which seemed to be (perhaps should be changed to "were" to make this less wordy) of new shapes and colors. Two or three times, moreover, (this is ok but it might be better to remove this and just start the sentence with she) she could not help thinking (should be "could not help but think") that a tuft of most splendid flowers had suddenly sprouted out of the earth before her very eyes, as if on purpose(add comma) to tempt her a few steps farther. Proserpina's apron was soon filled, and brimming over with delightful blossoms. She was on (I believe it should be "at" not on) the point of turning back in order to rejoin the sea nymphs, and sit with them on the moist sands, all twining wreaths together. But, a little farther on, what should she behold? It was a large shrub, completely covered with the most magnificent flowrs in the world. Proserpina had a choice to turn round and run away. "

Answer 38

Whoah

Answer 39

""What a silly child I am!" thought she, taking courage. "It is really the most beautiful shrub that ever sprang out of the earth. I will pull it up by the roots, and carry it home, and plant it in my mother's garden." Proserpina seized the large shrub with the other [hand], and pulled, and pulled, but was hardly able to loosen the soil about its roots. What a deep-rooted plant it was! Again the girl pulled with all her might, and observed that the earth began to stir and crack to some distance around the stem. She gave another pull, but relaxed her hold, fancying that there was a rumbling sound right beneath her feet. Did the roots extend down into some enchanted cavern? Then laughing at herself for so childish a notion, she made another effort: up came the shrub, and Proserpina staggered back, holding the stem triumphantly in her hand, and gazing at the deep hole which its roots had left in the soil. [this is kind of a long sentence, perhaps split this into two?] King Pluto told Proserpina [as] he beckoned her to come a little nearer (add period and quotation mark) Do not be afraid," said he, with as cheerful a smile [as he knew how to put on] . "Come! Will you not like to ride a little way with me, in my beautiful chariot Proserpina's first thought was to call for her mother.[this sentence is a little confusing, where does the dialogue end and the narration begin?] "Mother, Mother Ceres!" cried she, all in a tremble. "Come quickly and save m"

Answer 40

I'm still a bit confused - what exactly is going on at the end?

Answer 41

I can tell that King Pluto is an antagonist but why exactly is Prosperina calling for help when he hasn't done anything bad to her? (yet)

Answer 42

I understand that the story is based on the myth of Persephone and Hades so perhaps include something about King Pluto capturing Prosperina to make her his wife?

Answer 43

anyway I'm going to sleep soon, but let me say you did a very good job so far, and most of the changes are minor grammar changes and some plot details that need to be added near the end

Answer 44

ok