Ok, so I need help with my argumentative essay. I need help with spelling, grammar. I accept all suggestions. Please just help!

Question

Bvellla · Answer

According to Eliana Dockterman of Time magazine, "in Staten Island, New York at Tottenville High School, 200 detention slips for dress code violations were handed out in the first few days of school. Of these 200 students, 90% were female." Public school dress codes are inherently unfair and are biased against female students; they take students out of class and take away their learning time. School dress codes target female students but they are harmful to the whole student body (Including boys). That is to say, when schools ban specific items like leggings or midriff-baring tops, it sends negative messages to all genders of the student body. Girls are told that their clothing is too distracting and boys can't pay attention. "Most of the students who are being disciplined for dress code related interactions are girls or Trans or gender-nonconforming students," said Ashley Sawyer, the Director of Policy and Government Relations for Girls for Gender Equity. Even here at Westfield I am aware that at least 3 female students I know of have been dress coded whereas I have not heard of a single boy has been dressed coded. Many school dress codes try to limit the messages that students can send. For example, a school in Giles, Tennessee told a girl she could not wear a shirt with a pro-LGBT message on it as it might provoke other students and make her a target. Students are forced to dress just like everyones liking, students loses their freedom to choose how they want to dress and represent themselfs through their clothing choices. One school even had a dress code that said that if a student was out of compliance they would have to wear a dress code violation tag similar to, like a scarlet letter," said Sawyer. The Education Department says it will review the legislation. Students in school need to learn to express themselves, and their wardrobe choices are one way of doing this. Boys get dressed coded too for wearing images such as weapons and drugs. But thats diffrent because girls get dress coded for wearing leggings and crop tops. Sources used: Study Finds That Dress Codes in City Schools Tend to Target Girls’ https://teens.lovetoknow.com/Against_School_Dress_Codes https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/10/school-dress-codes-are-problematic/410962/

Rylee88 · Answer

Here, I fixed it for you. You had some spelling errors and some words that didn't make sense together. *P.S. Make sure in the beginning of your sentences you put 5 spaces, not 3.* According to Eliana Dockterman of Time magazine, "In Staten Island, New York at Tottenville High School, 200 detention slips for dress code violations were handed out in the first few days of school. Of these 200 students, 90% were female." Public school dress codes are inherently unfair and are biased against female students; they take students out of class and take away their learning time. School dress codes target female students but they are harmful to the whole student body (Including boys). That is to say, when schools ban specific items like leggings or midriff-baring tops, it sends negative messages to all genders of the student body. Girls are told that their clothing is too distracting and boys can't pay attention. "Most of the students who are being disciplined for dress code related interactions are girls or Trans or gender-nonconforming students," said Ashley Sawyer, the Director of Policy and Government Relations for Girls for Gender Equity. Even here at Westfield I am aware that at least 3 female students I know of have been dress coded whereas I have not heard of a single boy has been dressed coded. Many school dress codes try to limit the messages that students can send. For example, a school in Giles, Tennessee told a girl she could not wear a shirt with a pro-LGBT message on it as it might provoke other students and make her a target. Students are forced to dress just like everyone's liking, students lose their freedom to choose how they want to dress and represent themselves through their clothing choices. One school even had a dress code that said that if a student was out of compliance they would have to wear a dress code violation tag similar to, like a scarlet letter," said Sawyer. The Education Department says it will review the legislation. Students in school need to learn to express themselves, and their wardrobe choices are one way of doing this. Boys get dressed coded too for wearing images such as weapons and drugs. But that's different because girls get dress-coded for wearing leggings and crop tops. Sources used: Study Finds That Dress Codes in City Schools Tend to Target Girls’ https://teens.lovetoknow.com/Against_School_Dress_Codes https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/10/school-dress-codes-are-problematic/410962/

Ferrari · Answer

I like the essay. If you need further help, maybe you could try using the spelling/grammar/wording site Grammarly! That helps a lot, even the free version.

Extrinix · Answer

You should also cite your source correctly, in an MLA or APA format, and with sites it should look similar to this: Author's last name, Author's First name. "Title of the web page." Name of Website, DD/MM/YY of publication, URL. Accessed DD/MM/YY. Here's an example: Doe, John. "Unknown Origins." Chicago Tribune, 04/01/99, https://someurl.com/ . Accessed 2/21/21. Remember: the website name should be what's italicized, not the actual title of the page, that should go in quotes.

Bvellla · Answer

@rylee88 wrote:

Here, I fixed it for you. You had some spelling errors and some words that didn't make sense together. Thank you so much <3 *P.S. Make sure in the beginning of your sentences you put 5 spaces, not 3.* According to Eliana Dockterman of Time magazine, "In Staten Island, New York at Tottenville High School, 200 detention slips for dress code violations were handed out in the first few days of school. Of these 200 students, 90% were female." Public school dress codes are inherently unfair and are biased against female students; they take students out of class and take away their learning time. School dress codes target female students but they are harmful to the whole student body (Including boys). That is to say, when schools ban specific items like leggings or midriff-baring tops, it sends negative messages to all genders of the student body. Girls are told that their clothing is too distracting and boys can't pay attention. "Most of the students who are being disciplined for dress code related interactions are girls or Trans or gender-nonconforming students," said Ashley Sawyer, the Director of Policy and Government Relations for Girls for Gender Equity. Even here at Westfield I am aware that at least 3 female students I know of have been dress coded whereas I have not heard of a single boy has been dressed coded. Many school dress codes try to limit the messages that students can send. For example, a school in Giles, Tennessee told a girl she could not wear a shirt with a pro-LGBT message on it as it might provoke other students and make her a target. Students are forced to dress just like everyone's liking, students lose their freedom to choose how they want to dress and represent themselves through their clothing choices. One school even had a dress code that said that if a student was out of compliance they would have to wear a dress code violation tag similar to, like a scarlet letter," said Sawyer. The Education Department says it will review the legislation. Students in school need to learn to express themselves, and their wardrobe choices are one way of doing this. Boys get dressed coded too for wearing images such as weapons and drugs. But that's different because girls get dress-coded for wearing leggings and crop tops. Sources used: Study Finds That Dress Codes in City Schools Tend to Target Girls’ https://teens.lovetoknow.com/Against_School_Dress_Codes https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/10/school-dress-codes-are-problematic/410962/

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

Do you mind if I ask, what was your thesis + t-bar and web?

This essay seems a bit all over the place while I was reading it, and the end isn't quite a real conclusion per se. There are also some different words I would have used, and I feel like I'm left with something missing from this essay. I understand the whole paragraph is about girls being unfairly dress coded (which I agree), but the paragraph is bit iffy in some places.
There are of course some grammar mistakes, but I believe @rylee88 has addressed that issue.
Some positive things I can say though is that the word choice used here is very descriptive! Also you make some very good points, and the formatting is correctly used here!
(Make sure to cite correctly at the bottom of your essay as well (as @extrinix said)
Good job! I said a lot of things, but in all this is a solid essay! Correct a few things and you should get a good grade on this.

ILOVESPAGHETTI · Answer

@ilovespaghetti wrote:

Do you mind if I ask, what was your thesis + t-bar and web? This essay seems a bit all over the place while I was reading it, and the end isn't quite a real conclusion per se. There are also some different words I would have used, and I feel like I'm left with something missing from this essay. I understand the whole paragraph is about girls being unfairly dress coded (which I agree), but the paragraph is bit iffy in some places. There are of course some grammar mistakes, but I believe @rylee88 has addressed that issue. Some positive things I can say though is that the word choice used here is very descriptive! Also you make some very good points, and the formatting is correctly used here! (Make sure to cite correctly at the bottom of your essay as well (as @extrinix said) Good job! I said a lot of things, but in all this is a solid essay! Correct a few things and you should get a good grade on this.

I understand the whole essay*

Rylee88 · Answer

Yes, all I did was fix the spelling.

hiiiii2221 · Answer

Try grammerly.com for plagiarism.