just wrote another poem cause you guys seemed to like it last time, so here you go. thoughts?

Lies

In my head, you words hover
One day it's one thing, the next another
I tell myself you must have just changed your mind
For there is no way you have lied
Each day the words you spew, i grasp to believe
Until i am simply on my knees
For i want to trust in you my friend
Believe you wouldn't lie to me in the end
But every time i hear you speak
The lack of sense makes me weak
For you say you've never lied before
Yet i find you doing the act i accused you of lying for
Don't know who to trust, or what to believe
Should i just end this now, and start to grieve
Grieve the person i thought i knew
Spent hours talking until dawn
For that person i knew is indeed gone
For my friend is truly a fien
The person i thought i knew is not who they seem
Should i lay them to rest, and collect my dues
Why how shall i ever choose
For the person i knew and loved is not real
How do you expect me to feel?
Should i adapt to this and learn with ease
To expect the lies in which you please
To take every hit as they come
Until i simply become numb
For you have lied and lied again
There's no going back to when
We laughed and danced under the trees
For now those memories make me wease
Lies, lies, lies please
Please return my dear friend to me

Question

just wrote another poem cause you guys seemed to like it last time, so here you go. thoughts?

Lies

In my head, you words hover
One day it's one thing, the next another
I tell myself you must have just changed your mind
For there is no way you have lied
Each day the words you spew, i grasp to believe
Until i am simply on my knees
For i want to trust in you my friend
Believe you wouldn't lie to me in the end
But every time i hear you speak
The lack of sense makes me weak
For you say you've never lied before
Yet i find you doing the act i accused you of lying for
Don't know who to trust, or what to believe
Should i just end this now, and start to grieve
Grieve the person i thought i knew
Spent hours talking until dawn
For that person i knew is indeed gone
For my friend is truly a fien
The person i thought i knew is not who they seem
Should i lay them to rest, and collect my dues
Why how shall i ever choose
For the person i knew and loved is not real
How do you expect me to feel?
Should i adapt to this and learn with ease
To expect the lies in which you please
To take every hit as they come
Until i simply become numb
For you have lied and lied again
There's no going back to when 
We laughed and danced under the trees
For now those memories make me wease
Lies, lies, lies please
Please return my dear friend to me

kaleighh533 · Answer

I absolutely adore this poem, you've used a couple words an terms ive never worked with before which is also amusing i get to learn lol but other than that its amazing an keep up the good work (:

JadynB · Answer

@kaleighh533 wrote:

I absolutely adore this poem, you've used a couple words an terms ive never worked with before which is also amusing i get to learn lol but other than that its amazing an keep up the good work (:

aww i really appricieate it this is only the secound poem i have ever written and im really likeing it so far, im inspired by a lot of older writers, hence the some of the more ancient words i use, i simply think it is amazing that you can stat off with a feeling or a story and turn it into something soo much more line by line, rhyme by rhyme, so your feed back means the world to me thank you

kaleighh533 · Answer

@jadynb wrote:

@kaleighh533 wrote:

I absolutely adore this poem, you've used a couple words an terms ive never worked with before which is also amusing i get to learn lol but other than that its amazing an keep up the good work (:

aww i really appricieate it this is only the secound poem i have ever written and im really likeing it so far, im inspired by a lot of older writers, hence the some of the more ancient words i use, i simply think it is amazing that you can stat off with a feeling or a story and turn it into something soo much more line by line, rhyme by rhyme, so your feed back means the world to me thank you

thats great to hear that your inspired from such older writers which is what is making you a better writer as you go along and ofc i love giving feedback an my opinion on things (:

lifewmylilweeb · Answer

THIS IS WONDERFUL WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO WRITE POEMS BECAUSE THIS IS A MASTERPIECE
KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING

JadynB · Answer

@lifewmylilweeb wrote:

THIS IS WONDERFUL WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO WRITE POEMS BECAUSE THIS IS A MASTERPIECE KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING

thank you sooo much, im self taught, lmao , thank you i will

MochaBerries · Answer

I LOVE THIS

MochaBerries · Answer

AND UR SELF TAUGHT?? DAMNNNN

MungDaal · Answer

first half= noice
second half= generic
don't take it offensively, it is critical criticism, the good kind

JadynB · Answer

@mungdaal wrote:

first half= noice second half= generic don't take it offensively, it is critical criticism, the good kind

i really appreciate the productive critisism, i base my poems off of real life stories and situations in my life, that happen to me so it might have been generic to you but i know that it definetly wasnt for me, exspecially if you kinda got the artistic story i was tellin youd understand lmao, but thats not your fault i guess. again i really appreciate it, have a great day!

Krissy525 · Answer

this is relatable keep it up

JadynB · Answer

@krissy525 wrote:

this is relatable keep it up

thanks

Krissy525 · Answer

@jadynb wrote:

@krissy525 wrote:

this is relatable keep it up

thanks

np

navyaniya · Answer

my love that is a swell poem

JadynB · Answer

@navyaniya wrote:

my love that is a swell poem

Thanks love, i really appreciate it

navyaniya · Answer

@jadynb wrote:

@navyaniya wrote:

my love that is a swell poem

Thanks love, i really appreciate it

no problem love just a helping hand one poet to the next