Question

Will someone proofread this for me. It is supposed to be a review on a book, with a bit of criticizing in it.

Answer 1

It Only Looks Easy by Pamela Curtis Swallow

Thomas Fuller once said that “all things are difficult before they are easy.” I chose this quote because it describes the book. Kat Randall is on her last day of summer vacation and her dog ends up getting into the streets. When she calls Cheddar, the dog, back to her, Cheddar gets hit by a car. So, when the first day of school comes around, Kat does something she never should have done. Take a bike to the vet’s and lose the bike, and end up working with an Alzheimer’s woman to pay for a new bike.
In the beginning of the story, there is dog named Cheddar, who loves cheese. Kat lets her dog out so that Cheddar can do her business. A few minutes later, Kat comes back only to discover that the neighbors across the street have cheese. Apparently, Cheddar had dug under the fence to get to the cheese. The problem I see with this is; why wasn’t Kat watching the dog to begin with? Cheddar is ten years old, and she could die at any moment, so why wasn’t she being watched? Old dogs are much more fragile than young dogs that would run around all day.
Kat makes her next big mistake when she “borrows” a bike, on the first day of school, to go to the vet’s to check on Cheddar. To make matters worse, when she comes out of the vet’s, the bike she “borrowed is now stolen.” First off, why did she even leave school to begin with? I realize that she had Cheddar in mind, but still, the doctor said that he would call when he had results. And the second big mistake is the “borrowed” bike. You should take better care of property that isn’t yours so it doesn’t get stolen, and the police don’t have a whodunit case on their hands.
So in order to pay the owner of the bike back, Kat works with the driver of the car that hit Cheddar, a woman with Alzheimer’s, Mrs. Lawrence. She protests, but once she figures out what is wrong with Mrs. Lawrence, her heart softens a little. Mr. Lawrence was outside while Mrs. Lawrence had discovered the keys inside, and had apparently decided to go for a ride. Mrs. Lawrence needed to be watched at all times so as not lose her again, with the car accident. Now first off, why did Mr. Lawrence have the car keys out where Mrs. Lawrence could see them, and why wasn’t she being watched? If he had known that she had Alzheimer’s then why were they both in two different places? From all that I have read about Alzheimer’s disease, a caregiver needs to be there at all times, so the person does not get him/herself confused and wander off in a car like Mrs. Lawrence.
Kat does end up finding the bike when she is going home one day and she sees some people trying to pull a bike out of the river. When an officer comes to take a look, he realizes that there may be more in there, so he calls for a truck with a grappling hook. Turns out, there are a lot more bikes in the river. After a while, the one she took is also in the river, with parts missing. The problem with this is; why didn’t someone catch the bike thief before he put so many in the river? Obviously he had been there often, and nobody thought to look in the river before now? And if he had been there more than once, then someone would or should have noticed him going there if he went often.
Kat learns a lesson out of all this; don’t take things that aren’t yours and you won’t have to do things you wouldn’t normally do. But most importantly, she learns patience; she learns that in order to succeed, you must be patient and wait until an opportunity strikes before you run off to do other things. Everything comes at a price that must be paid in full, and in order to pay for it, you must do what you consider the right thing. Going back to the quote at the beginning; Kat has rough time before anything gets easy.

Answer 2

This looks fine. Should get you a good grade as it has all of the elements; you could have been slightly more descriptive and used higher vocabulary but still over all well written.