Question

can someone proofread this

Answer 1

During the 1920’s and 30’s, the economic conditions in Germany were in disarray ranging from massive unemployment to economic depression. Production fell off, and resulted in laborers going out of work, though it was ultimately poverty that was the end product of this financial crisis.
For many, poverty became a gripping reality, and the hyperinflation merely reinforced the problem. Chart 1 and 2 both illustrate the significant escalation of prices. Initially, four marks were equivalent to an U.S dollar in January 1914, and weekly income was around five to ten German marks. But as the years progressed, the prices began to unyieldingly multiply by a million. By November 23, 1923, the housing income for a family of four was 3.8 billion.
In addition, household families’ mindsets and ways of life had to be reevaluated when the economy turned upside down. Survival became their first priority, and food became a necessity. As depicted in Chart 3, Germans nearly spent their entire income on food, rather than on electric and rent bills during July and September in 1923. Moreover, the daily consumption per individual wasn’t nourishing enough to feed them. As seen in Chart 4, there is an estimate of 200 grams in rye bread: the “most nutritious” of them all, whereas a small piece of sausage and butter was considerably low in amount of grams.
As shown in Chart 7, and the graph ‘Unemployment in Germany’, the percentage of workforce started to decrease rapidly by 1926. Evidently, Germany was at its highest peak of unemployment in 1932 with 5.4 million people being the highest, according to Chart 16-2. Furthermore, this coincides with the downfall of industrial production. According to Chart 6, from 1929 and onward, the industries began to decline, with the chemical industry being the highest in relation to amount of product, and the iron/steel and coal industries being the lowest.

Answer 2

very well written.

Answer 3

Never start a sentence with a conjunction like you did here: "But as the year progressed..." It also might be helpful to review comma usage a bit because there are a few areas in your essay where I don't think they are necessary. I think the colon here: "grams of rye bread: the..." should be a comma. Other than that, well done.

Answer 4

Its really good!