Question

Okay so I'm supposed to write a poem that consists at least eight lines, includes an example of a hyperbole, and doesn't have a required rhyme scheme. This is what I came up with and I just want to make sure it looks fine. I'll give medal and fans to anyone that will proof read this and help me edit if needed.

Answer 1

Endless wonder

I sit
Watching her face filled with sadness like stone
I’m patient as I wait for her spirit
To light up her soul as it did at a time once known
Patiently waiting
So long like centuries of the universe passing by
Head starts aching
So bad it feels like I might even die
I can’t look at this blinding picture as it replays in my mind
Why is this world so filled with pain?
Yet it always seems so kind
But it feels like there’s nothing left to gain
We are still like trees
Slow as we grow
Losing our leaves
As it starts to snow
We’re watching the world go by as time passes
So still like life has been paused
The sun comes and goes like the lighting of matches
Filling up the sky as we wonder what caused
My mind is an endless wonder
Who knows if I can help but always think
About her or any other
Lost in my own state of mind where all I can do is blink

Answer 2

Wow, this is pretty good.

Answer 3

Thanks

Answer 4

You might want to add something like "it" after the word cause. unless you wanted it like that.

Answer 5

I wanted it like that because in my poem I'm using an ABAB pattern.

Answer 6

Okay, i see. Now that you cleared it up, it's flawless.

Answer 7

WOO! Smart score of 73!

Answer 8

The earth keeps some vibration going
There in your heart, and that is you.
And if the people find you can fiddle,
Why, fiddle you must, for all your life.
What do you see, a harvest of clover?
Or a meadow to walk through to the river?
The wind's in the corn; you rub your hands
For beeves hereafter ready for market;
Or else you hear the rustle of skirts
Like the girls when dancing at Little Grove.
To Cooney Potter a pillar of dust
Or whirling leaves meant ruinous drouth;
They looked to me like Red-Head Sammy
Stepping it off to 'Toor-a-Loor.'
How could I till my forty acres
Not to speak of getting more,
With a medley of horns, bassoons and piccolos
Stirred in my brain by crows and robins
And the creak of a wind-mill- only these?
And I never started to plow in my life
That some one did not stop in the road
And take me away to a dance or picnic.
I ended up with forty acres;
I ended up with a broken fiddle-
And a broken laugh, and a thousand memories,
And not a single regret.

Answer 9

So it uses correct hyperboles?

Answer 10

Wow that's really good @Crystalinq

Answer 11

LOL tyy

Answer 12

@KyanTheDoodle you still there?

Answer 13

Yeah sorry, i was in a war.

Answer 14

Ok so does my poem use correct hyperboles?

Answer 15

Yes.

Answer 16

I'd be surprised if your teacher didn't love this. XD

Answer 17

I'll see if she does by tomorrow because I language online. Thanks for the help! If you want to see some of my other poems just message me.