Question

Can someone help and let me know if this sounds right?

Answer 1

Now write a paragraph outlining the similarities and differences between the chapter and the radio broadcast of War of the Worlds.

Your paragraph must answer the following question:

Which version of War of the Worlds is more effective in creating fear of the unknown?
Remember to ask yourself:

Which words, phrases, and sentences did the author select to make me think or feel this way about the reading selection?
Why are those words, phrases, and sentences effective in making me think or feel the way I do about the reading selection?
To help you, use your previously completed Venn diagram, where you recorded the differences and similarities of the novel and the radio broadcast.

Be sure to use direct quotations, summarizing, and paraphrasing to support your ideas about which version of War of the Worlds is more effective at creating fear of the unknown.

Answer 2

my work- Fear: "An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat." So, which of the two gives more fear, the novel or the radio broadcast? To me the book wasn't just more interesting but gave more fear. In the book, a shop-man falls in the cylinder and people start crying," He's fallen in the pit!" This makes the reader start wondering what exactly is in the pit, making the reader get on edge. Next, the top of the cylinder gets screw off, which is when they see the "alien". The character says that, "A sudden chill came over me. I saw astonishment giving place to horror on the faces of the people about me. Then I saw the shop-man struggling still on the edge of the pit. I found myself alone, and saw the people on the other side of the pit running off, Stent among them. I looked again at the cylinder, and ungovernable terror gripped me. I stood petrified and staring." The expression "a sudden chill came over me" gives the reader an idea of how scare the charterer actually felt and how ugly the creators looked. The fact that he was alone also gives the reader the idea that there alone with the creepy creatures. The character also mentions that "He looked again at the cylinder, and ungovernable terror gripped me. I stood petrified and staring," This makes the reader feel the same things the character is feeling and that he's frozen in the spot, making him probably be in danger because they don't know if the creatures are bad or good or bad. Lastly, the book gives a scary discription of the "alien". It described it like, "It has two luminous disks like eyes, black and gleam like a serpent. The body, it's large, large as a bear and it glistens like wet leather. With a mouth V-shaped with saliva dripping from its rimless lips that seem to quiver and pulsate." By giving us a description of the "alien," we can imagine how creepy it looked.

Answer 3

I think that this sounds PERFECT. I felt myself shivering reading about the description of the "alien" and the horror that the narrator felt by looking at it.

Answer 4

Thanks, is it maybe a little too long, since she asked for a paragraph? @Seira-kun

Answer 5

If you can crop it a bit, that may help. However, if I were in your place, I'd rather have it "a little too long" as opposed to being "too short". While most people say paragraphs can be 3 to 5 sentences, this also depends on who you're presenting this essay to. If, let's say, you're presenting it to a high school teacher or lower, then 3 to 5 sentences is the minimum. 7 sentences would be safer. But if you're presenting this to a college professor or something like that, I doubt they'd accept the 3 to 5 (or 7) sentences. This looks really good either way. Oh, and make sure that you're not "writing in circles". If you think that some parts are going around and around (meaning you sound like you're repeating yourself in certain areas), you may want to remove them or change them. Hope that helps. :)

Answer 6

yeah a lot. And one more thnig, sorry lol, um do u see any miss punctuation or commas in the wrong place ? bc thats kinda what the lesson was about... @Seira-kun

Answer 7

Okay, I'm letting out my inner grammar freak now...(^_^;) sorry about that. After re-reading the excerpt, I think I've caught all of the errors.
*A comma should be put after the "me" in the "To me" part.
*You don't have to put a dash in-between "shop" and "man". The term is shopman.
*The cylinder gets "screwed" off, not "screw" off.
*"Still struggling", not "struggling still".
*"How scared", not "how scare".
*The part where you quote the "I stood petrified and staring" should end in a period, not a comma.
*"Description", not "discription".
*I think that "It described it as" sounds better than "it described it like".
*"...Wet leather, with", not "...Wet leather. With..."
I don't mean to sound condescending or anything like that; I'm just pointing out what I caught. Just make sure to proofread your essay at least twice before you turn it in to whomever you are giving it to; it never hurts to check again. (I myself have been told that I overanalyze things a lot, but I'd rather analyze too much than too little.) Good luck! :)

Answer 8

LOL thanks that helped lots!! ;D

Answer 9

You're very welcome. (^_^) *Begins stuffing inner grammar freak back inside self* Urgh...urgh...get back inside!! Nothing to see here, folks... *Successfully stuffs inner grammar freak back inside self*