Question

Hi, how do I structure an English essay? I follow the MLA format, follow the essay 5 step formula, and get C's on all of them. Any tips?

Answer 1

Has your teacher ever told you why you had Cs? We can't tell you why unless you show us a paper of yours or tell us what your teacher said.

Answer 2

She says it is mostly how I structure my sentences (I need to simplify). I don't know where to start.

Answer 3

What grade are you in?

Answer 4

College sophomore

Answer 5

She says my vocabulary is great but my sentence structures are very complicated. She wants me to simplify them.

Answer 6

Can you post a sample paragraph of yours?

Answer 7

Okay, it will take a few seconds to call one up.

Answer 8

Famous icons like Kennedy, Nixon and Armstrong are stated to cement believability in the “mockumentary”. The interviewees tell first hand accounts about the moon landing and the reactions of icons to give a sense of reality. Karel manages to hire Kubrick’s wife to give accounts about her husband Kubrick meeting the CIA to create the short moon landing film. Different voice recordings and multiple clips of the video are used to convince the audience along with hearsay which is not a credible source. Along with the serious tone of the narrator, dramatic music is also used and does an accurate job of mirroring an accurate documentary that can play on any station. Despite the convincing appearance and documentary style, the “mockumentary” subtly undermines the hoax by using heavy doses of sarcasm.

Answer 9

I am so frustrated.

Here is another bit: In conclusion, the serious tone tricks the unsuspecting audience by a collection of interviews, various grainy footage and serious music that help cement the belief that it is an accurate documentary. Using this knowledge when watching the video, the audience learns that just because something looks legitimate, does not mean it is trustworthy and this allows viewers to sharpen their critical thinking skills.

Answer 10

I struggle with writing really concise sentences.

Answer 11

The first thing that jumps out at me is that there are a lot of unnecessary "phrases" in many sentences.
"Despite the convincing appearance and documentary style, the “mockumentary” subtly undermines the hoax by using heavy doses of sarcasm."

How about, "Despite the convincing appearance and documentary style, the “mockumentary” subtly but sarcastically undermines the hoax"?

"Using this knowledge when watching the video, the audience learns that just because something looks legitimate, does not mean it is trustworthy and this allows viewers to sharpen their critical thinking skills."

"Using this knowledge when watching the video, the audience learns that legitimate appearances do not necessarily indicate trustworthiness. This logic helps sharpen critical thinking skills."

You could probably reduce those sentences even further. Overall, I'd recommend watching out for repetitive noun and pronoun use.

Answer 12

Thank you! So simple is better. My sentences should be reduced by cutting out introductions that I add every sentence?

Answer 13

The first thing I noticed is that the first paragraph you posted contains two separate topics. You first talk about interviewers, then suddenly switch to the tone of the mockumentary. Something practical that may help is using sort of a sandwich method of formatting for each paragraph. So you start with a topic sentence, which, for example, can be, "Through the interviews of famous men such as Kennedy, mockumentaries can cement their credibility in a personal and relatable way." Then with your next sentences, you can include supporting points and evidence of said topic sentence. Finally, you conclude your paragraph by restating your topic sentence, as well as provide a good transition to your next paragraph, which should be a whole other topic.

I noticed that you lack transitional phrases, especially within the first half of your first paragraph. It's similar to switching car gears without transmission fluid. In example, instead of the direct transition in the first half, you could possibly add things like "In addition," "Additionally," or really any other transitional phrase that suits your purpose. You can google this and probably get a good list.

Another thing I noticed some errors regarding the object of the preposition in relation to the subject.

If you look at the sentence, "In conclusion, the serious tone tricks the unsuspecting audience by a collection of interviews, various grainy footage and serious music that help cement the belief that it is an accurate documentary" within the second paragraph, there's the mentioned error. What you actually said is that "serious tone" uses "collection of interviews, etc..." to trick "the unsuspecting audience," instead of that the mockumentary does uses "collec....etc" to trick the audience.

Answer 14

In some cases, yes, you might want to shorten the introductions. I think reading the text out loud will make it easier to write sentences that transition smoothly from one to the next.

Answer 15

Thanks for your help everyone! I'll use this. :) I really needed that summary.

Answer 16

Good luck! :D