Question

Hey everyone! I wrote a story. Any thoughts?

Any questions I can answer I'll answer in the comments.

Answer 1

“Holloway! Are you with us?” I was jolted to attention from my vivid daydreams to a very livid professor. I had been known to doze off, and this was the third time in the past hour.
“Y-yes ma’am.” I responded quickly as the professor looked me over. She was a stout woman with a stern face that screamed, ‘don’t mess with me or I’ll fail you.’ I quickly cleared the gray hair that obscured my vision and sat up straight, flashing my nicest smile which, mind you, wasn’t very convincing.
“Right. I expect an illustrious presentation from you next week, Mr. Holloway.” The professor's words sent the large student-filled room to chuckles and guffaws and giggles, which I, for one, didn’t find very amusing. There must have been a clown in my direction.
“Yes, ma’am,” I muttered. My face was hot with embarrassment. I could feel every person’s eyes boring into my skull. Thankfully, the professor broke her gaze from mine after a brief moment of scrutiny and resumed her presentation.
“You didn’t sleep?” a soft voice whispered to my right. I gave a tight nod. The person who spoke was Mallory, a longtime friend of mine. She wasn't doing her best as of late, but despite her own troubles, she always seemed to find time to worry about me. Her grades were slipping, her friends were something less than decent, and she was becoming something of a laughing stock among all of the clowns that she’d surround herself with.
She was always worried for others, but it was looking to take a toll on her. She looked particularly anxious today, with dark circles under her eyes, and her right leg bouncing with the speed of a mining drill.
“Hey, you alright?” I’d ask, and she quickly nodded, looking away and popping a pill into their mouth. The professor was glaring at us. I returned the look.
After some more stifled laughter, the class got it together and continued their studies on god knows what. I wasn’t really paying attention.
What skills would I really learn here? I asked myself. I couldn’t give an answer. It was all part of the Old World’s curriculum. Not at all relevant now. Who needs Algebra? There aren’t any accountant positions to fill. I didn’t have a future here.
I redirected my gaze back to the window to the left of me. It was a cloudy day, which was incredibly rare. It was always a paradise here, possibly just Mother Nature thanking us for rehabilitating the earth to its former glory.
There wasn’t anybody walking around the field outside, which made my time here all the much more boring. I heaved a sigh of boredom and continued to watch until the room went silent. I felt a cold and clammy hand slowly touch my forearm. Mallory redirected my gaze to the professor, who was more than fed up with me. I decided it was in my best interest to pay attention.

ADD DESCRIPTORS HERE// FILLER

“How late were you up last night?” Mallory asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I don’t know. maybe 2? 3? 4?” I responded. I wasn’t the best sleeper. She scoffed with a resounding,
“You need to pay more attention! You're failing! It’s our last year!”
“And what’s your excuse?” I retorted. “...” I wasn’t really in the mood to argue with her, but I immediately felt bad for snapping at her. She was only trying to look out for me, like she had always done all those years.
“You know the medication is getting harder to come by,” she muttered, eyes averted. I nodded understandingly.
“I know. I bet that’s tough to deal with,” I sympathized. She nodded her head.
There was a brief silence until she cleared her throat.
“Are you staying after today?” She asked after the prolonged break. I heard some snickering behind me.
“Sure. I don’t have a reason not to.” I responded, a little distracted by the kids in the back of the room who were glancing at me and guffawing at whatever I had done. I wondered if I would have to deal with them after class.
“Don’t let it get to your head. See where that got me?” Mallory interrupted my observations by clasping her cold hand on my shoulder and gesturing at her sunken eyes, once bright and colorful. She smiled her flashy grin, but no matter the smile, she was still a shell of her former self. I could see how dull her eyes had become. She was tired. She was fading.

It used to be significant hanging out with her. We’d always play in our neck of the woods, figuratively and literally. We’d spend hours upon hours exploring until we’d come out the other side of the woods somewhere. After enough times of getting lost and getting home together way after dark used to be exhilarating.
Then she got sick. It was mid-July when it happened, the day before her 15th birthday. She didn’t show up for our exploration. She didn’t show up the following weekend. The doctors said she had Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, or ALS. They said it was a progressive nervous system disease that affected nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, causing loss of muscle control. She could no longer do the things she loved doing; running through the woods with me, playing with her brother, working to make money for her family. It was so bad that she could barely stand for more than an hour without beginning to shake or twitch inadvertently.
She also had multiple scars on her elbows and knees from tripping and falling while walking. The disease made her move involuntarily, and she often got muscle cramps and had trouble speaking or swallowing.
Our visits together slowly grew further and further apart. Days to weeks. Weeks to months. I missed her so much, but the doctors said it was for her own good; they were giving her ‘therapy.’
She had changed. Her former beautiful face was now flush and pale. Her once dazzling emerald eyes, now faded like a tunic hung out in the sun too long. As if the stress and pain and fear had washed away the color of her personality. Her smile… I feel like I haven’t seen her smile, really smile, in years. She was an entirely different person, always anxious instead of carefree. Always waiting for her next pill, if you will. She wasn’t the Mal I used to know. I felt like I didn’t even know her anymore.
With all of the recent events considering the mayor’s shortage of medication and lack of resources from gathering ships going missing, Mallory was on her last leg in terms of her prescription. Soon she’d need a new dose, and soon after, she’d be gone.

“What’s up? Do I have something on my face?” She interrupted again. I realized I had been staring at her.
“No, you’re fine.”
The professor closed her book and finished up the lecture, instructing the students to leave and reminding us to work on our group projects. As if that would ever happen.
As everyone stood to leave the dark and gloomy room, I couldn’t help but notice the miniscule amount of pills rattling along in my best friend’s dress pocket.

Answer 2

its pretty good!

Answer 3

its amazing, if i were to rate it i would give it a 1000/thats better than what i can do

Answer 4

Uh, it looks good but there are a ton of grammar mistakes and the paragraphs need to be spaced out along with punctuations.

Answer 5

Nice to know.

Answer 6

But although next time try using BBCODE.

Answer 7

I can provide you with a link in DM’s id you want.

Answer 8

If*

Answer 9

I know what BBcode is, that would have been a good idea. I just copy-pasted from my writing practice doc. I'll try to do that next time

!