Question

I made a poem, tell me what you all think.

I am one that withstands the waves
Only with the opposition of Irish luck
Like a lime leaf flowing softly
Sneaky like a feline yet swift

I may be small like a mailbox
However I move strongly
Looking like the vibrancy
In the middle of fall

I carry the life around all proud
I’m like the strength of a Norse ship
I push through the problems
Cutting them down like waves

Though staggering and rough ends
Still successful in my abilities
Like a bright light in a field of gray
Standing up and strongly

Answer 1

I also will try to make more poems in the future, and maybe some short books.

Answer 2

Nice poem, not something i would read, But im sure someone else would love it. Also i feel like this is referencing to something.

Answer 3

Yep, it does reference stuff. It's pretty much just words that describe me then put into poem form. Also references my ancestry.

Answer 4

Thank you for sharing your poem @questioncovebot

While your poem carries figurative language, you may want to reduce the amount of similes. Using like/as comparisons in your poems can make them seem quite rigid and/or repetitive in form.

Figurative language is in part a stringing of sequences that flows like water, it's a bit difficult to master and I'm still on that journey. But something I try in my poems is to do as many metaphors as I can, as these tend to be more interesting than a simile.

For example:

She shone bright like the sun

vs

Her appearance brightened the shadows

A simile makes a direction comparison while a metaphor makes an indirect one. This leaves more to the reader's imagination and makes it more interesting.

A metaphor that better compares 'her' to the sun directly could be like:

Her light shone throughout the land

It's still a metaphor since a person can't literally do this, but it takes on the quality of the sun more directly.

You can practice this but I find reading helps you pick up how to do this as well. I think once you start sequencing more different figurative language you can make more compelling poems.

Answer 5

Here's an example of how you can convert some of these:

I’m like the strength of a Norse ship

to

The strength of a Norse ship coursed through me.
or
The Nordic strength coursed through me

A part of this is simile to metaphor, but also a concept of 'showing not telling.' You often want to show the reader what you see, not tell them.

Answer 6

It's amazing :0 I love it!!! KEEP WRITING

Answer 7

This poem is beautiful. I LOVE it. :)

Answer 8

This is really good, keep going, and don't let what anyone says get into your head.

Answer 9

np

Answer 10

You're very welcome

Answer 11

Amazing, keep it up :)

Answer 12

no problem